La CPVI du vendredi

Comme à chaque vendredi, nicolaslangelier.com vous présente une nouvelle manière de perdre votre temps. Mais attention, celle de cette semaine est particulièrement fantastique et (inévitablement) particulièrement propice à la procrastination. Ça s'appelle Overheard in New York, c'est un endroit où les gens vont poster des bouts de conversation entendus dans les rues de la ville, et c'est la chose la plus addictive depuis la Krazy Glue dans un sac de papier. Essayez d'en lire juste un, voir.

Un bref échantillon, juste pour vous:

Chinese girl: [in Chinese] Your luck just ran out.
Black girl: What the fuck did she say?
Chinese passerby: You are fucked.

***

Old gentleman: What is venison?
Waiter: You know the movie Bambi?

***

Hipster chick: Do you think New Yorkers are mean, or are we just so jaded we're not fazed by anything?
Hipster dude: I think it's a combination of both.
Hipster chick: Because, well, my friend just found out he has testicular cancer, and he's getting one of his balls removed on his birthday. And I thought that was hilarious. You know what else? Maybe New Yorkers are also whores -- I seriously considered sleeping with him just so I could say I was the last person to see his left ball.
Hipster dude: That's a bit soulless. But it's also a little funny.
Hipster chick: See, really, if you think about it in the right way, everything is funny.
Hobo: You're just a mean whore.

***

American Airline pilot: Ok guys, we're just waiting on some United dude to clear our tail so we can push.

***

Guy #1: I mean, who is impressed by knowing all the state capitals? That's easy. I can name every state capital.
Guy #2: Vermont.
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: What's the capital of Vermont?
Guy #1: That's not a state.

***

Je pourrais continuer pendant des heures.

La preuve:

Guy, staring at girl: You look like someone I know.
Girl: It's me.
Guy: Oh, hi Alexis. You look different at eight in the morning.

***

Une autre preuve:

Chick #1: Dude, everyone's popping out babies these days. JLo, TomKat, Britney. It's like they're the new fucking accessory.
Chick #2: Yeah, who wants a fucking baby anyway? You just turn into a fatass with stretch marks and saggy tits with a screaming infant who no one wants to be around.
Very pregnant passenger: I'm due in two weeks.
Chick #1: Aww! Is it a boy or a girl?

***

Bon, ok, un dernier:

Guy #1: I have been thinking some deep shit recently.
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, me too.
Girl #2: Me too.
Girl #3: Me too.

***

Dernier dernier:

Punk #1: You hear CBGB's closed down?
Punk #2: Yeah, that sucks.
Punk #1: I had a threesome in the bathroom there during an Alkaline Trio concert.
Punk #2: Really?
Punk #1: No.
Punk #2: Nice story though.

Allez lire le reste ici.

Comments

[Rédigé par : Nic]

Je me suis récemment désabonné du fil RSS d'OiNY. Jamais vu un blogue aussi exigeant. Les One Liner du mercredi sont tellement intenses, j'ai besoin du jeudi au complet pour m'en remettre.

[Rédigé par : Sophie]

Je suis complètement addict à ce site depuis plusieurs semaines déjà. Le temps file et file... et je suis toujours en train de lire ces inepties. Et que dire de "Overheard at the beach" et "Overheard at the office"???

[Rédigé par : J-E]

Un threesome dans un show d'Alkaline Trio, c'est pas mal la seule façon d'apprécier une telle soirée.